Characteristics of Being - II

“I Wish I could make people realize what they have is better than what they want ... and the world would be a better place..."

Extending on the last part of the "The Bubble of illusion" .We talk today about the characteristics of being. 

The characteristics of being are driven by factors. These factors influence, motivate & change the way of one’s behavior.

5 things that makes this happen are, 

1. What you think others think of you

2. What you think of others

3. What you think of yourself

4. Local Emotions

5. Past References

These more or less, cover all the variables that cause a change to your characteristics of being. 

What you think of others?

All you have been doing all this time is recollecting all the bad memories with this person. What we tend to do, is recollect parts of the story. The story that we make up of some fact that happened in our past. 

Some instance happened long back, and you remember this one part of it that makes your hold more strong against the person you are trying very hard to dislike.

Now, once you get something against this person. All the instances of the past would be filtered in a way for you to think in this negative direction for this person. Those thoughts were never there in your head, but as you have now made an image of this person to be bad, you will filter all the good out and automatically characterize yourself to behave in a certain way and expect something to always happen in the way you have thought it. (The negative way)

The realization here is that, it’s not important that you view a bad image but to have enough good memories and to train yourself to bring them back to you in order to at least stay neutral and not judgmental.  

 "You have already made the choice, you are just doing it to learn why you choose it in the first place" - The Matrix revolution.

What you think others think of you?

Almost everyone thinks something about someone, and we are always worried about it.  More than half our lives go waste, living for what we are supposed to do in order to be a part, be accepted, and be normal. There is fakeness/pretence in the way we look at what people/someone might think of us. 

Humans exist to make meaning, do this we make meaning out of everything. We always try to find the pattern, which is ok!!! But, when there is no pattern and we still make a false judgment and live by it for most of our lives, called FALSE Belief. 

This Belief is not what others think of you, cause that’s there own stupid problem. The problem is what you think, others think of you. I have seen people, who sometimes think too highly of themselves, when the world thinks otherwise.Atleast, these people are very happy, because they have the wrong perception. This works wonders for them & you would always find someone like this, who is doing better than you.

It’s wonderful to live in this optimism. The other way round does not work. Be it anything, not coming out and expressing love, feelings, hatred, observation & thought for the simple heck of being judged is what is going to make you, go all the way down to the wire of being not satisfied. 

Never being able to do something, because someone else thinks it’s right, wrong, inappropriate or disgraceful is a problem that will stay with you forever. It’s not something that will grow out with experience, because it’s a problem of attitude and not thought, and it’s only inside your head.

"The only person you’re accountable too, is the one you see in the mirror every morning"

So, go ahead and stop worrying about the way you are being thought off, cause that will never stop. You can never do everything right and no one truly cares, 

And,

They all have to think about what others are thinking of them!! :) 

What you think of yourself?

Have you come across someone, who says,"I know I am aggressive? Well!! That’s the way I am”

That person is you.

Another problem of this modern world is self image. Everyone has a certain image of themselves in mind. These images of one self drive a lot of characteristics of being. You already have a certain image of your good points and bad points, and you like to believe them. If someone is telling you something else, they are hurting your belief and you don’t like that.

If you think you are a Kamina, and people call you that you are ok with it.

If you don’t think of yourself as a ghot, and someone calls you that, you are bewildered. (How the hell!!) 

Possibly true, isn’t it!!

We all have a thought telling us, what we really think of ourselves. This enhances our mind to act like that, and behave in a certain manner so as to be true to this one's image. This leads to one doing a lot of things, they would certainly not have, only to prove to one that they have these traits.

Again, thinking well about you, being positive about it has no harm. But, the other side of the coin is what really makes people go crazy. People end up doing a lot of stuff, getting into relationships, and smoking, wear odd clothes, and hamper a peaceful environment, because they tell themselves that are their characteristics. But, the truth is not that. This FALSE PERSONALITY. 

This need arises by seeing someone of this trait; get something that you have always wished for. Its comes out of the need to achieve, need to revolt, need to please someone or cheat yourself with the truth.

"More than the action, the motive behind it truly classifies a MAN"

Local Emotions

One is never able to truly understand how humans feel & express their nature. Emotions are the measure of how we feel. Good, bad, Happy Sad, etc. etc

What we do is- we react to everything around us. To jokes on us, at us, at someone and everything else as a matter of fact. With the three explanations provided above, we see how we react in situations and they are more or less similar.

Local emotions, is a reaction that comes out in moments of fights, joy, and grave situations etc.To put in easier terms of understanding, Local emotions are expressions we choose to represent our feelings in moments of thought free response. Something very similar to ours, spinal cord. Here, the processing is not available and it’s a spontaneous.

These spontaneous reactions, through emotions also have the ability to make us alter our characteristic of being, in a splash of a second. Because the registration of the reaction is new, and not calculated or pretence and can have a leading impact in memory, about someone or something.

"Don't look at life through moments, see each moment as a flash of life and then you will truly live"

 These emotions, can work both ways and there is nothing much can be done about their impact, after all we are humans. The effect of the thoughts created due to these new expressions in the memory, can be discharged similar to capacitors over a period of time.

Past References

How often has it happened, that you see someone!! You see someone; they resemble someone you have already interacted with. This places a very important role, for the first time you interact with this person.

What we do, is instantaneously refer to the similar person from our past and already create a mental image of how this person is going to behave with us.

This leads to either being too friendly, or showing a cold shoulder to the person. We judge the person, even before that person has spoken the first word. Now, that he/she is characterized into someone, someplace, and everything he /she say takes your mind in that direction and with the filters up. You classify the statements made by him/her, the way you want and wow!! They both seem so similar.

This trait could lead to a lot of difficult realizations in future and then would characterize your mind into something totally opposite of what it is. You might sway from one thought to another about the person, but never be able to really know them. And it is always your choice, and not the one who you are judging.

"Don't let your past, live in your present ...it will ruin your future" - Bill Gates

The bubble you don't know about !!

Do you sometimes wonder - "What does that prof think of me ?" ;

or while playing poker- "Wish I could read his mind" ;

or even when Tendulkar gets run out - "What was he thinking while taking that stupid run?" ;

Isn't there always this constant mur..mur ,..inside your head.Whenever you don't have anyone it starts to operate.Sometimes it's there even when everyone is there.You just have to realize,  something is there inside of your head talking to you.

But the first thing you say after reading these lines -"What a stupid fellow,he is mental!!There is something is talking inside his head,see its not happening in mine" 

Means you just said it inside your head.Congrats your normal!!

Some of us still did not get it.did you?anyhow 

The theory is that you are living inside a bubble, a bubble that you think does not exist.You think there is no bubble and that your interaction with people will have an impact on your life.Inside the bubble your thoughts get drawn into a space,which creates an illusion that someone's action are impacting/alternating/changing your life.Just because you think that they are doing this change, they actually change.Cause your mind is saying, it changes inside your bubble so it actually does and you keep proving to yourself that your life is altered by someone else's action.

You always already know how a person behaves with you,but you still go to  that person everyday just to prove to yourself that you are right.You always already know what the next person is going to do and isn't it  mostly correct?

This phenomena is called the Bubble of Illusion!!!

You think that some prof X does'nt know how to teach  & you are mostly certain  that he/she is a bad prof before they even start teaching.It's not a mental state.It's normal!!! We all have a tendency to judge people based on some incident,similarity with someone from the past or movie character or some incident in someone else's life.So,Once we make sure that we hate someone, we are mostly certain that whatever that person does will be mean towards us cause we have already decided on that.We have asked your mind to believe that voice inside your head which is talking to us. Subconsciously we will  do something,to keep proving to ourself that we are right.When the truth is that we never know the truth cause all the truth to us is our creation.That's what creates all your problem!!!

We cannot do something to avoid it,cause we are made to think by nature.Like a Tiger is born to kill,deer born to run,birds born to fly.We are a species,which is born to interpret.We have to have a suggestion,a meaning ,a story.or always a reason for something.

This is what is causing all the trouble!!!

Isn't it that what ever you think of an person is true 90 % of the time, even before it actually happens.It is because you have decided that something should happen in a way and it will always happen that way inside your head.

This is how we have been living all our lives.We all live inside our own heads.Everyone around us is a stimulus.We react,act & review our stance based on that and enact an action over it in our own world of our mind.The world of illusion.That's why you think the prof sucks because you are just too dumb to comprehend with what the prof is saying.Maybe that's what he is thinking.

Almost all of us are a still fighting ourselves inside our own bubble,messing up our own lives and blaming someone else.The more we try and fight others inside our own head,the more certainly the illusion hardens.The bubble will never burst or fly away.It will always be there.

Lets just start realizing that it exists and let's start  to clean up our bubble bit by bit !!

""Cause there are some things you know,some you don't and some you know that you don't know BUT there are always things that you don't know that you don't know"

The orbit theory

I often feel that the best place to start writing is at home .

This starts the explanation of a lot of things.So many times  in life  we feel, maybe I should not have told him this or maybe is that person actually the way I think he should be? and so on ...

Well, there is a possibility of error between when we judge people and how we speculate them to be  with us. We simply start with the basic fact - as the name suggests 'the orbit theory',  talks about the analogy between the real orbits of the solar system , where orbit of each planet is like a  relationship and as we go on we simply recreate their relation with the sun  in reference to other people's with ours ,It also helps us classify our relationship status with others.

Just like the Sun, we also are supposed to have a CORE NUCLEUS Body .this nucleus body basically consists of people all around you , the closest to you today as of this moment and will be for maximum period of time of your life. As it is the core NUCLEUS , it has very high energy just like the Sun. There are heated arguments, there is a lot of interaction and also too many secrets to be shared.

As a science student , we are told that the movement of the sun is very small. ( All the others as know it as a stationary object).But  it is not my friend and in a very lay science man language, I would like to put it .A planet and Sun revolve around each other's centre of mass, but as the mass of the sun is very high therefore, the centre of mass of the 2 big objects lies almost (as u can say)  inside the sun ..so it seems the planets move around it.

Anyway , coming back to the point SUN DOES NOT MOVE and so creating a parody, The people who we place in the core of our life should be or rather are the ones who do not change much with time or whose relationship with you is certain enough to change, gradual change is inevitable. But with respect to the larger picture like the sun, in the small course of time it can be considered  constant.

"

This helps in deciding who should be more important to you, than who "makes life easier".The orbit theory does not end here, its a start of a very complex formulation of the factors effecting relations between people.

The very supplement starts when we go into the specific orbits of the orbit theory,

Mercury orbit: The first orbit and the most complex one too.Just like the planet with the shortest orbit and fastest speed(not sure thou).It should contain the next set of closest people around you ,the ones  who will evolve finally to fall into the nucleus.

PS note : No of people in the lower orbit should be lesser than in the one above.

So, the rule is simple about putting people in orbits, as an order of their attachment with you and things should work out soon.So, you know who to not go overboard with .Also, till what level of understanding is this relationship of friend,lover,mentor etc.

There are various others situations described on the basis of this orbit theory and its application in terms of understanding your limitations and others too are useful.


And this would highlighted in the posts on this thread, with similar understandings and views.